lar_laughs: (Default)
lar_laughs ([personal profile] lar_laughs) wrote2005-01-24 05:24 pm

Trying Something (NC-17, Harry/Madame Maxime)

Title: Trying Something New
Author: [livejournal.com profile] abzurd
Word Count: 517
Characters: Madame Maxime/Harry (with guest appearances by Professor Snape and the house elves – everyone else was hiding)

Rating: NC-17 (as it is squicky)

Author’s Note: This is done in Haiku style – 5,7,5. I apologize to anyone that might appreciate that type of verse as an actual means of creating art. This is just a gimmick and don't read if you're expecting art. This IS for a Squick Challenge after all. To check it out, go to February Doldrums Squick From Hell challenge and join the fun!

Also, thank you to [livejournal.com profile] ink_addict for the Beta. She went over and beyond and may never get rid of the images in her brain. *pets her* She's a good bean, though.


He saw her laughing
one day as she walked away
to the place she stayed.

She intrigues me, thought
the boy who was champion.
I want what I see.

He ran for his cape,
red, it was, to keep harm out.
He carried his wand.

Something else to woo
this giant of a lady.
Perhaps some dinner.

“We have chops and beets,”
said all the lively house elves,
helpful and so cute.

“I’ll be back for you,”
he grunted, eyeing Dobby.
“You can be my snack.”

Running through the door,
Madame Maxime on his mind,
he ran into Snape.

“Pardon,” he stuttered,
“I wasn’t watching the door.
Pardon again, sir.”

“Potter, five points off
your house’s lot, I’m taking.”
The professor glared.

“Fine, you slimy git,”
but Snape was moving away
and never heard him.

Olive-skin prevailed,
sending him for the exit.
Peace. All was quiet.

“I want you,” he screamed.
The quiet shattered at once,
heads popping out doors.

“My dearest Madame,”
he cried, “I don’t want to go.
Tell me I can stay.”

“Mon Petit Harry,
you are a child with much I
wish to possess. Come.”

Her voice was like fire,
crackling with heat, roaring hot
against his smooth skin.

The door of the coach
swung wide, her figure looming
against the darkness.

Her great arm beckoned,
drawing him forward to her
sizable portions.

“Have you had dinner?”
He pulled out lamb chops and beets,
enticing her lust.

Thoughts of house elf love,
after this meal and super-
sized love, gave him pain.

“Hurry and eat, love.
I need you to show me how
love can truly be.”

“Not love,” she murmured
around the t-bone of meat.
“What we do is more.”

Her lips demanded
what her body desired most,
his manhood inside.

They petted and kissed,
each exploring body parts
normally covered.

His name on her lips
rocked the carriage as she came,
her skin glistening.

“This time,” she grunted,
“I want you to scream with me.
Move heaven and earth.”

A candle sputtered.
She leaned over and blew air,
dousing smoky flame.

Next, she moved to him,
blowing on his skin so moist.
In response, he moaned.

“Madame,” he stuttered,
his body tightened, ready.
“Tell me you want me.”

“I want you. No. Need.”
Her loud voice deepened as he
slid himself in her.

For one so large, she
was a tight fit. His breath hissed
as heaven did move.

She bucked up, tossing
him high against the ceiling.
“Hold on tight” she growled.

He let go, afraid
she would pull him down to her.
“Gently,” he whined, scared.

“You are champion.
Act like one. I want to hurt.”
He knew he was lost.

It all went downhill
when she decided to change
and spend time on top.

His cries went unheard,
his mouth covered. All was lost
until she moved off.

Gulping breaths of air,
he discovered her snoring,
lying on her side.

His body sated
for the present, he got dressed.
The beets were stone cold.

Exiting the room,
Harry pulled on his red cape.
Now, for the house elf.

[identity profile] sweetjane-69.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
I am still so very, very traumatized. *sobs and shakes* How could you???

*hides under blanket and curls into fetal position*

Very well done in a squicky, freaky way. And very original idea.
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[identity profile] lar_laughs.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
*picks up blanket* Thank you! *drops blanket back*

*sits patiently for you to get over trauma*

[identity profile] kaz814.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
Dear, sweet god, this was so so wrong. So incredibly wrong.

Great job in getting the elements in ... even if this did scar me for life.

*shudders*
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[identity profile] lar_laughs.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
The elements were the hardest. Not many of them fit in the restrictions of the verse. Thanks! *bows* This is my second story over PG-13. I'm so darn proud. *wipes tear away*

[identity profile] booster17.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
*eyes bug out*

So this is why [livejournal.com profile] sweetjane_69 muttered somthing about sharing the pain. So wrong, so very very wrong....

Great job. But you are so getting my therapy bill.
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[identity profile] lar_laughs.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
*hands over the nickel she won from Janie* Sure. Here you go. That's all I'm taking credit for.

Besides, YOU started my addiction to haiku. Really, this is your fault. I'm blaming you, after all. WAIT! I think we could actually blame [livejournal.com profile] jennymalfoy. Yes. Let's blame JMo.

[identity profile] booster17.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
*blames JMo* She's ebil!!!!!

This [livejournal.com profile] jennymalfoy
Spreads her pain and ebil everywhere
We must kill the Smurf!

[identity profile] sweetjane-69.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 01:20 am (UTC)(link)
Let's strip her naked
Then leave her out for Hagrid
He'll know what to do
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[identity profile] lar_laughs.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
It will only hurt
if you struggle under him.
It won't be too bad.
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[identity profile] lar_laughs.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
*heads desk* If I'm not careful, I'm going to start counting my sylables again.

[identity profile] absolut-jmo.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
That was absosmurfly hillarious!

Strangely I am not scarred for life, perhpas the sequel with the house elf would though.

His cries went unheard,


*giggles some more*
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[identity profile] lar_laughs.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, the house elf part is the squickest part for me. *sigh* Since that one part is the squickiest thing that has ever happened to me in WRITING so far, I had to include it. Good times!

[identity profile] inathunderstorm.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
The wrongness....*giggles*

The house elf bit had me giggling loudly.

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[identity profile] lar_laughs.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
Like those helpful folk do you? *smirks* *ducks as she gets squicked by the thoughts of house elf love again*

[identity profile] annibug.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, the wrongness of it all. I couldn't turn away. Kind of like Flava-Flav and Bridget, my new OTP.

This part made me giggle out loud:
Thoughts of house elf love,
after this meal and super-
sized love, gave him pain.


Nice job!
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[identity profile] lar_laughs.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 07:37 am (UTC)(link)
You like the super-sized love and the Flava-Flav, huh? *grins* Strangely enough, I think Bridget would make an EXCELLENT Madame Maxime. *eyes the casting director* *grins at the horribleness of all thoughts about Madame Maxime this late at night*

Thanks!

[identity profile] theliningsilver.livejournal.com 2005-02-28 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Anni, honey, please don't say they are your new OTP, I'm completely horrified. And, of course, laughing.

[identity profile] annibug.livejournal.com 2005-02-28 08:30 pm (UTC)(link)
No, I think I shall stick with Hagrid/Ginny. *wink*

[identity profile] theliningsilver.livejournal.com 2005-02-28 08:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Bwhah. I think I'd rather see that than hear "FLAAAVA FLAV" one more time.

[identity profile] annibug.livejournal.com 2005-02-28 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I know what you mean. I was *obviously* kidding when I mention F/B OTP; those two freaked me out a little on the few minutes I happened to catch the show. *shudders*

[identity profile] theliningsilver.livejournal.com 2005-02-28 08:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I caught that comment WAY behind the times, so I was like... oh dear. I mean, they truly ARE like a train wreck, so it could totally have appeal in that "Wow my life is normal" kind of way. :-)

[identity profile] annibug.livejournal.com 2005-02-28 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
They are a complete train wreck. *grin* I was channel surfing one day and saw it and remember thinking, WTF??? They were just a little too odd for my taste. :)

[identity profile] larinzia.livejournal.com 2005-03-01 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
Hagrid/Ginny kinda scares me, too. Anyone and Hagrid, really. He's so big. What if he fell asleep and rolled onto her?

[identity profile] myanceris.livejournal.com 2005-01-25 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
*twitches*

Am so very disturbed.

*twitches again*

Kudos to you for the Haiku format. You made supersized Squick somehow entertainingly readable. In a non-perverted reading-it-out-of-interest-in-the-squick-challenge kinda way, obviously. ;-)

*Curls up under desk whimpering and rocking backwards and forwards muttering...*

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[identity profile] lar_laughs.livejournal.com 2005-01-26 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
Glad you...liked it. If like is the right word. *grins*

Try using a cold compress on the eyes. The bleeding should stop soon.

[identity profile] theliningsilver.livejournal.com 2005-02-28 07:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Holy farking crap. I think I just ruptured something laughing. SO wrong. The competition is fierce in this squick challenge! *giggles*

And I think I need to go back and give Anni a slap on the wrist for calling Flava and Bridget her new OTP. GAG.

[identity profile] larinzia.livejournal.com 2005-03-01 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, that was just wrong of her to bring that up. *uncovers eyes just a bit* Fun to think of the squick challenge THEY would be, though. With or without the verse.

[identity profile] empressvesica.livejournal.com 2005-03-02 01:49 pm (UTC)(link)
*dies laughing*

*bows to your superior squick genius*

That so very very wrong. But so wonderfully done.
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[identity profile] lar_laughs.livejournal.com 2005-03-03 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks! You've got to love haiku squick! It made me count my syllables for weeks, though!