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Chapter 12: THE ONLY THING THAT CAN HURT YOU IS THE VERY THING THAT WILL SAVE YOU
Aria watched as Vert knelt down beside her motorcycle, his face alight with glee. There were still some parts he needed to get from town but, for the most part, the bike was back in one piece. Now, he was just having fun.
“When did you get it? I mean, this thing is a classic and I’m sure you weren’t the original owner. There are modifications, of course, but it still has so many of its original parts.”
She did some quick calculations in her head. “I got it right after I learned to drive so… fifteen years? Something like that. Give or take a few months. I had it worked on every couple of months by a friend of mine. He was adamant about reusing many of the parts, remaking them from scratch a couple of times if he had to. Since he was cheap, I let him do what he wanted to do as long as it stayed running.”
“It’s beautiful,” he breathed, running his hand over the engine manifold.
In that moment, Aria realized she was talking to herself. She’d thought it might be interesting to watch Vert work on her motorcycle but it hadn’t been any fun at all. For one, she was used to at least being acknowledged when she was in a room. The maintenance man kept forgetting she was around except when he had questions about the bike. Even when she dutifully answered his questions, some of them were forgotten as soon as he asked them and he was enamored with a new machinery part.
“I think I’m going to take a walk around the property.” When he didn’t answer, she hopped off the cabinet she’d been using as a seat and carefully wiped off her hands on a nearby towel. She wasn’t normally so fastidious but grease seemed to be on every surface in the garage. No matter how careful she’d been to touch nothing, it didn’t matter because there were still marks on her hands. It didn’t matter what she got on her clothes because they didn’t seem any worse for their trip out here. She wasn’t sure who they belonged to but she’d found them folded up on the table beside the cot this morning. When she hadn’t been able to locate her clothes from the day before, she’d been forced to wear these or walk around in the t-shirt she’d worn to sleep in and her leather jacket that still hung on a hook behind the door to the room she was using.
She was glad of the loan of the clothes but she worried what exactly the gift meant and if she would ever get her own clothes back again. Den didn’t seem like a guy who would think to get her some clean clothes. Of the people she’d met, she could rule out most of them. Delaney had scowled at her when she’d come in to the kitchen for breakfast, never acting friendly enough for Aria to even consider for a moment that it might have been her. Becca had chatted with her while she’d eaten the single bowl of hot cereal but had never mentioned the clothing. Beau had been in and out all morning, looking stressed and forlorn. She might have thought about it but it looked like she had her hands full with something else entirely.
That left the possibility of someone she hadn’t gotten to know well enough to name caring enough about her well-being to do something nice… or Alma. Even though the matriarch of the family would have done something nice for her, Aria doubted it. There was something about the woman that she didn’t like. Nothing yet that she could put her finger on but it would come to her. Until then, she wanted to keep as far away from her as possible. That might not prove to be too difficult seeing how big the property was.
Clouds rolled across the sky but that was only a respite from the bright sunlight and heat. Aria didn’t think she had ever dealt with this kind of heat before. She knew well the damp heat that suffocated most of Florida from May to November but this had no moisture to it. It was just heat, pure and simple. Before she’d left the house this morning, she’d snagged a bottle of water to help keep her hydrated. It wasn’t even noon yet and she’d gone through two full containers full of water. Before she began her exploration, she would need to find a new water source. The kitchen was out considering Delaney didn’t seem happy about her visits. The only other sink she knew that could fit the bottle under the spigot was in the garage and the water that came out of that tap tasted foul.
It seemed rude to just walk through a door and she was feeling too shy to knock. What would she say if someone actually opened a door? “Hi. I’m visiting and I felt like being nosey. Can I come look around?” She was more likely going to be kicked off the property entirely if she did that. Instead of taking the most direct route inside, she decided to case out the perimeter first. By the time she’d made her way back to her initial spot, she counted ten doors. There were four doors on this side and four on the opposite side. On the other two walls, there was a door each. Eight plain wooden doors with mesh and glass screens and two metal doors with nothing special about them but a few dents.
Working on a hunch, Aria moved to the north door and put her hand on the doorknob. It turned easily. Odds were that she was going to enter a hallway but still she only opened the door a fraction of an inch. Cool air rushed at her. From a distance, there was the sound of a group of people talking and laughing. What sold her on moving ahead with the plan was the smell of chlorine. Somewhere in the midst of this structure was a pool.
“It’s almost time for lunch. Who wants to bet it’s leftover stew?”
“I’ll take that bet. I’d really like just plain sandwiches every once in a while. I’d almost take the wrath of the old man just to take one of the cars and head into town for a sub from Castle’s Corner.”
“Don’t be mean. She has a lot of people to feed. You’d stick to the basics, too.”
“One last jump and then I’ve got to head to the showers. Work calls.”
“Don’t do a cannonball, okay? It gets us all wet and I’ve just got my hair dry again.”
The voices were coming down the hallway that led straight from the door Aria was still holding open to another opening nearly twenty feet away. It seemed even longer as she contemplated walking out through the opening and coming up with something funny to say to draw attention away from the fact that she really didn’t belong there. No one had invited her.
There were several other buildings on the property, all within easy walking distance. One was quite obviously the barn. There was also a couple of large houses but nothing that rivaled the main house in size. Beau had said it was called the Manor House and those were bunkhouses that housed the revolving cast of family members that lived at the farm at any one time. She was shy of walking in and making herself at home when she wasn’t an actual member of the family. At the end of a long road sat the garage for all the equipment that was used on the farm. Vert had let it slip that there were several motorcycles housed there. It was easier to take a smaller vehicle to check sprinklers and fences on some of the further pieces of property. Since they were used by anyone and everyone, she’d reasoned that the keys would have to be somewhere in the building itself.
Just in case someone was watching her from the Manor House, Aria tried to look like she really was interested in the bunkhouses. One had a smaller wrap around porch than the large house had and she made herself comfortable in one of the chairs. The view really was as every bit as spectacular as the one she’d stared out at yesterday. There was a beauty here that wasn’t present in the wetlands of Florida, a grandeur that opened up the sky so that it was nearly possible to see out for miles across the horizon.
A movement inside the house sent her scurrying off the porch. While she knew it was perfectly acceptable for her to be there, the possibility of having to meet new people was beyond her at the moment. She’d never been much of a people person before, always spending time with the same group of friends and hanging out at the same places. Repetition made life easy. It also meant she didn’t have to explain herself to anyone new.
To these people, she might not really be anything spectacular but Aria still got the feeling that they were waiting for her to prove herself. She was like a child that had learned a new word and everyone knew she could say it but no one had actually heard her yet. They were all watching her every move, waiting for something to set her off so she’d start screaming “Mama! Mama!” and they could all be there to applaud and tell everyone they’d been there when she’d said her first word. The only problem was that she didn’t want to have to show off for them. Who were they, this family with birthmarks and enemies that looked like blobs of dark?
As she trudged toward the storage unit, she couldn’t help but wonder about Den. She was never one to back off from a challenge, which he most certainly was. For such a big man, he was certainly soft-spoken and gentle. Last night she could tell he’d wanted to scream at her but he’d settled right down as she’d started to talk to him as if their last encounter had never happened. Disarming angry customers had been a skill she’d seen Gordon use night after night. Since she’d been the one who had made him angry, she’d given him what he wanted - soft words and tender smiles. It had been easy to make him melt but what really surprised her was how easy it had been to talk with him. She would have loved to stay longer on the steps, hearing about his experiences and learning what made him who he was, but he was obviously worn out.
In the light of day, she didn’t think she could be that same girl she was last night. Instead of trying it out to see if it was possible to take Den at face value and come at this relationship like they might be actual friends, she wanted to run away. He was everything she wasn’t. Small town, family-oriented, content with the same contact day after day, aware of his meaning in life. She loved living in the city where change was just around the corner. Her family was non-existent and her group of true friends was small in number. She needed new stimulus as well as new experiences. Most importantly, she had no idea where her life was going or what it all meant in the big picture. She wanted it to matter, though.
Wasn’t that why she’d run away? Something new? But it had been more than that. She’d finally started to understand that her life was being controlled in ways she’d never quite understood before. One day everything had fallen into place and she’d just known. Never again, she’d vowed. Never again would they be able to control her like that.
From what she could tell of this family, they controlled Den with his permission. He not only knew he was being controlled but he appreciated it. While he might say he didn’t want to lay down roots, he’d done just that. This family of his was wrapped around him so tight that they all must have known every time he breathed. Still, if it helped him sleep better, she’d never let on that he was exactly what he feared. It was their one true commonality… their fear of not being their own person. Not being able to plan the next step for themselves.
Before she ever got to the garage, she smelled water. It was a scent she hadn’t caught since coming to this dry place. Becca had told her this land was officially a high desert but she hadn’t known exactly what that meant. Aria could tell it meant little water but she hadn’t thought she’d smell anything as wonderful while she was here. If she was correct, it was a fast running stream about three miles away. Without even thinking of where she was headed, Aria began to run.
The straight shot to her destination wasn’t exactly the easiest way. She had to climb over three fences and navigate a ravine before she finally came to the first hint of marshy land and the line of trees that marked the banks of the river. The smell made her giddy. In this heat, it was like heaven to feel moisture on her skin. When she could finally see the water, she began to undress. It was hard to get the jeans off as she ran but she was able to pull one leg out so that she only had to jump out of the second leg when she got nearer. With a shout of exclamation, she threw herself into the middle of the river and floundered around like a lunatic until she was completely soaked.
At first, she was so joyful to be immersed in water that she didn’t bother to check out her surroundings. After sitting down in the cool water, she took the time to look around. Several cows looked back at her, their big eyes a bit bewildered at the funny person shrieking like a madwoman in their drinking hole. They weren’t put out, going about their business once they’d ascertained she was going to be a threat. Seeing them, four legs stuck in the mud of the riverbank, Aria shivered in remembrance. Even though she hadn’t let on, she was beginning to remember more about the dark night she had arrived. Calling those dark blotches leg-less cows was like calling Adolf Hitler just a guy with a moustache. These were really cows and she had nothing to worry about from them.
Not so the man sitting at the base of a large tree on the opposite bank from the one she had entered on. “If I’d known you wanted to come for a swim, I would have invited you along with me today.”
“I thought you had something important to do today.” Her voice was heavy with accusation as she tried hard not to be hurt. “You made me wait because you had to come sit alone by the river with the cows?”
“No, I came to the river to eat my lunch. Didn’t know how you’d react to me today so I thought I’d stay clear of the house for a while today. Let you settle in a bit better.”
She wrapper her arms around her torso, very aware that she was completely naked and had been gloriously so for quite some time before she finally made it to this part of the river. “You make it sound like you want me to stay.”
When he wasn’t able to look her in the eye any longer, she knew her words had been spot on to what he was feeling. Suddenly, the water no longer held the magical call it once had. She stood up, not caring what he saw, and began searching for enough clothing so she was once again properly turned out for public consumption.
“It’s not like that,” he protested, fording through the swift water until he was beside her. Both of them were dripping wet and neither seemed to enjoy it. “I just meant that I wanted you to get to know everyone better. I don’t care what you think, this is a place you can belong. This is a family that can be yours, too.”
“Why?” She spat the word at him as if she was trying to expel poison from a wound. “Because we share a birthmark? Big deal. That doesn’t make a family. Love does.”
“And how would you know? Because you have a family? Oh, wait. I forgot. You don’t.”
“But I had one. You don’t appear to have had one.”
“Neither did you,” he shouted, standing directly in front of her so that she couldn’t walk back down the path. There were only thick bushes on either side of him and she was loathe to get her borrowed clothes wet. As soon as she got back to the house, she was going to throw them off as soon as she found her own clothes. After that, she was going to leave in whatever vehicle she could find. If she had to, she would walk into Carey and find someone willing to help her out. As she came up with the new plan, his words sank in.
“What did you say?”
“You didn’t have a family, Aria. None of us had a family. We weren’t born.”
“What? We were hatched?”
He shook his head in frustration. “No. Not hatched. And maybe we were born. No one knows for sure. But you weren’t born… what… twenty five years ago?”
“Thirty,” she murmured. “I look much younger than I really am.”
“Yes, you do. But you’re older than that. I can’t prove it yet but give me time. I’ll find someone who remembers you.”
“My parents were killed in a fire in a new town we’d just moved to.” Her skin was like ice where he wasn’t touching her. His hands felt like the palms were made of flames. “I know they were my parents.”
“How? How do you know? You were a baby. A child. Do you have an actual memory?”
She shook her head. It wasn’t her memory she held safely in her head. It was the story she’d been told over and over again, a treasured play of words that she had believed because she’d wanted so very much to say she had once had a real family.
“Then who told you? Someone you believe? They’re lying to you.”
The moment for truth had come. “I know they are. They never stopped lying to me. Not until I got away from them.” He looked confused. When he would have dropped his hands from her shoulders, she crossed her arms and placed her hands on his to hold them in place. “I was running away when you found me. It was a life I enjoyed but it was all a sham. They made up this huge smoke screen so that I thought I was getting exactly what I wanted. But I only wanted freedom so I ran. I decided to run to the opposite coast to see how easy it would be for them to track me. After that, I had no plans, just as long as I got as far away as possible.”
“Who held you against your will?”
“The same people who lied to me about my parents. I think I realized that first but it was what I’d held onto for so many years that I didn’t want to give it up.”
“Who?” he asked again.
“They call themselves Upton Management. Richard Upland and Tony Hunter. They claimed they found me and took me in when no other relatives could be found. Soon after, they moved down to Florida and set up a water theater.” She answered the question that showed up on his face before he could voice it. “It’s rather popular down along the coast. People pay money to come see mermaids swim around in a huge tank. The girls in the shows all have glittery costumes with tails and bikini tops. And then there was me. The main attraction. The real deal.”
“You’re a mermaid,” Den whispered, the revelation putting a smile on his face and a frown in his eyes. She could see that he was torn between emotions and decided to give him an easy out.
“You told me I was special, remember? My birthmark proves it. The fact that I can breath under water is just an added bonus. What I can really do… is this.”
She held up her hand and silently commanded the water to come to her. Because she wasn’t concentrating, a wave as tall as she was swelled up and veered toward the shore. Just in time, she dropped her hand and the water sank back into its original course with hardly a splash. This time, she held up only a finger and a trickle swooped up and cascaded over her arm, splashing them both with just a few droplets.
When he didn’t say anything, she answered for him. “I command water. An elemental. At least, that’s what some of the experts I’ve read have called it. I’m not made of water and most elementals are. At least in the books I’ve read. Not that I’ve read much on the subject. Richard and Tony didn’t like it when I tried to give what I did a common name. They told me that I was the fairy tale and the other stuff was just myth. I was real. The words weren’t. But I think they were wrong. I think I am the myth just as much as the fairy tale.” She was talking too much. Now that it had come out, she couldn’t hold the words back. Her inability to stop the words from welling up combined with his awed expression suddenly irritated her. In a fit of anger, she shoved at his hands. When she was free, she glared at him as if he’d done something horrible to her. In a way, he had. He’d made her confront something she was hoping to put behind her. And he’d made her hope. For that, she hated him.
“You can’t help me,” she shouted. The water began to surge the banks but stayed in place only because it was wild and free. If it had been tank water, it would have been splashing over both of them, doing her bidding without having to be asked. “I wish you had never found me. I wish you had let me go. I shouldn’t have come here. This place isn’t good for me. I hate it and I hate you.”
Before he could react, she picked up the jeans that she’d been struggling to get on and ran for the road and freedom.
