A Lar by any other name

Chapter 3: I WOULD HAVE TRIED SOMETHING DIFFERENT IF I’D KNOWN

She’d picked this route quite by accident. It had seemed a pity to turn back to the highway once she’d found her way off it. There was water close by, as if the road had been built especially for those who couldn’t stand to be far away from the twisting waterway. If she could have picked one word to express this area, it would have been lonely. Not a bad lonely. Just without the populace she was used to. It was strange feeling of lonliness, though. While no many people drove by, the ones that did would wave at her like they actually knew who she was. By the fifth casual wave, she found herself starting to put her hand out to the side in greeting. One time, she’d actually beat the surprised man in the rusted old truck to it and he’d barely had enough time to get his hand off the wheel before they’d passed each other. It felt silly to be acting like she belonged here when it should have been plain to these people that they didn’t know her. Were they those kind of nice folk always portrayed on TV or did she look like someone they might know?

Whatever the reason, she felt uncomfortable driving down this lonely back road. Even with the river nearby, the coast still called to her so that she kept driving endless miles she would barely remember when this was all over.

As dusk fell, she pulled into a gas station one last time. Her bottle of water would need to be filled and she’d found a quarter on the floor of the roadside public restroom she’d stopped at this morning that would give her enough money to buy a candy bar. Her body yearned for sugar to offset the constant carbohydrates of the crackers. The box of saltines hadn’t been the most inspired thing to bring along as the only means of sustenance but it was easy to hide and wouldn’t have been missed as quickly as something else might have.

She’d toyed with the thought of shoplifting something but quickly dismissed the ideas as one of the stupider she’d ever had in her lifetime. With her inability to tell a decent lie or hide strong emotion from her face, she’d be caught for sure. To be so close to her goal and denied it for any length of time would destroy her will once and for all. She’d never survive being denied the end of her journey.

This gas station was no different from any other she’d been to. It set on a prominent corner and gave people an opportunity to stop without heaving to get too far from the roadway. Some of these towns, no matter how small, were a warren of streets that seemed to lead back to each other but didn’t actually go anywhere practical.

There were two men in a heated discussion near one of the pumps but no one else nearby. It made it easier to relax when there weren’t people around to stare at her, wondering what she was doing when all she wanted to do was move along without any trouble. She grew self conscious under scrutiny and found it hard to do what she needed to do.

It felt good to pull off the bulky helmet and push her hands through her thick hair. She’d had a thought to hack off the brown curls so she had something more easily managed but had decided against it. After all, they were only noticeable in context and she’d taken herself out of that context when she started this journey. There were plenty of other people with her same hair color and style. She was confident that it wouldn’t betray her.

The bit of warm water from the very bottom of the bottle felt good against the back of her hands and her neck. It was too old for her to drink and get any nourishment but she didn’t need it as much as she might have if she hadn’t been able to stop at the river periodically when it got close enough to the road that she’d been able to park and walk to the shore without getting lost on backroads. The flowing water hadn’t tasted as tainted as she was accustomed to – less polluted and more animal by products. It had tasted almost clean, something she’d never thought she’d ever experience. The bike hadn’t appreciated the cleaner water. It was used to running on the more polluted cousin where people outnumbered palm trees almost two to one.

She was eager to be on the road once again. While her body cried out for the same treatment as her hands and neck had gotten, she didn’t have time to strip off her clothes and try to do a more thorough job of it in the tiny restroom she was sure to be nestled in the back of the store. Soon she’d be able to walk into the surf of the Pacific, free to swim as long as she pleased.

This stop was only about filling up the water bottle which would fill the bike’s tank, and getting some chocolate. Her mouth watered at the thought. With any luck there would be some sort of sale that would get her more than just a few bites of sugar and cocoa.

The two men were arguing now, their voices raised but not loud enough that she could hear them clearly. Something about the situation made her uncomfortable but she wasn’t going to walk near them so she had nothing to worry about. Whatever irritation they had with each other was between them.

There was nothing out of the ordinary about this gas station store. Everything was laid out like it was at every other one she’d stopped at during this trip. The candy aisle was easy enough to find and there was indeed a sale she could take advantage of. The price was only a few pennies over the amount she had in her pocket but there was the inevitable cup of change she was able to pick from with a wry smile to the checker behind the counter. He seemed glad of the business, a break to the boredom of the evening so far, but not eager to make conversation. Without much fuss, she was able to exit the building far better off than when she’d entered. Water and chocolate. It was all she really needed to produce a smile.

The situation had changed by the gas pumps and not for good as far as she could tell. The smaller man was pointing a gun toward the taller, gruff man. Both were staring at her. She’d hoped to be invisible on this stop but it seemed she had made an impression. Whatever was going on with them, she was now a part of.

“Hey, why don’t you put that thing away.” It wasn’t the smartest thing she’d ever said before but it was the first thing in her mind.

The man started as if he hadn’t thought she’d actually stop and say anything. There was still a good distance between her and the men but she could see the expressions on each face. The taller man, his blond hair falling into his eyes so that they were nearly invisible in shadow, looked like he was angry with her that she’d stayed to talk and hadn’t ridden away. The gunman almost seemed happy about her words.

“Why don’t you come over here and make me?”

“I’m not a sadist. Those things are dangerous or didn’t your mother ever teach you about the difference between smart and dumb? Guns are dangerous. Do you know the statistics of people who hurt themselves while they try to do stupid things like hold up a man trying to get gas?”

“They have statistics for that sort of thing?” This was from the blond who suddenly found something to laugh about. She’d been hoping maybe he’d get into his car and drive away so she’d have a reason to do the same. As long as he stayed in danger, she’d feel as if she needed to stay and help him out. “Get that from the Guinness World Book of Records or something?”

“No. The newspaper.” She wasn’t finding this nearly as interesting as he was but there was nothing she could do about that now. When they were done, she’d be sure to give him a piece of her mind for just standing there. He looked like the sort who knew how to take care of himself but he was just standing there with his hands in his jacket pockets like he had all the time in the world to have a conversation about statistics. “So, just put it away, okay? I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“You don’t?”

“No. It would be a waste. You seem like a nice guy.”

“I do?”

The blond snorted as the gunman fell under the strange spell she’d created just by acting like she cared about him. Men, she reasoned, loved to think a pretty woman noticed them. She’d found that true more than once and now she was putting that information to use once again. If she’d asked for him 10 dollars, she figured he’d give it to her. That would put her in his debt and she had no desire to be there.

“Sure. If you didn’t have the gun in your hands. Stupid move, man. Only men with something to prove use guns.”

It had been stupid to remind him that he was lacking in area because he was suddenly angry at her, the beauty he’d been mesmerized by no longer able to hold him at bay. He waved the gun wildly. “I don’t have anything to prove. I just want what I’ve earned.”

“And what would that be?” The blond man turned back toward the gunman, subtly putting his body between the weapon and her. It was a stupid move but one she had to admire. Chivalry wasn’t truly dead, after all. “Money you think I owe you because you were stupid enough to come up with some sob story that I didn’t buy.”

She began to edge over to put the jeep between herself and the confrontation. They had forgotten her existence once again and she was free to leave if she could get to her bike fast enough. That would have gone against what she felt was right and wrong. It was wrong of anyone to threaten someone else with a gun. It was right that she should help when she could.

The water bottle grew hot in her hand. Before she could hurt the chocolate, she stuffed it in her pocket where it would hopefully stay intact long enough for her to enjoy it when this was over. Her hand burned as the water began to boil in the thin plastic container. It would be scalding in a few more seconds, long enough for her to get into a position where she could throw it at the man. Losing her water bottle would be a hardship but used ones were a dime a dozen in most dumpsters. The idea of finding a new one was distasteful but she would deal with the hardship when this was over.

“Turn around and leave. I won’t call the police. No one will ever have to know you did this tonight.”

There was a bark of laughter as the dark-haired man shifted to his right foot, a move that put his back to the vehicle. This was a much better position for her to do something to him now. “I don’t buy it. You’ve had your hand on your phone since I started talking to you.”

“But you said yourself that the cops aren’t close enough to do anything.”

“Doesn’t mean you won’t give them my description. That could be just as bad as having them stop by right now.”

She had to hand it to the man; he knew what kind of trouble he was in. This meant he’d be both smart and dumb. Smart to do whatever he had to stay safe and dumb enough to do something stupid out of fear if he felt trapped. If the man really did have a phone, she hoped he’d be smart enough to use it as soon as she threw the water. There was nothing else she could do after that. There wasn’t enough water in the gasoline for it to be any use to her and she didn’t think she’d be able to stall long enough to run back inside to restock.

“Walk away and I won’t call them. Leave without hurting anyone” he emphasized that word so that even she could tell he was implying something important, “and I’ll let you walk away. No police. No rebuttal.”

There was silence and she wasn’t sure if the man was thinking this idea through or stalling. It was her opportunity and it was unlikely she would get another chance. Taking a deep breath, she let it out as quietly as she could. Then, with a explosion of movement, she used one hand to lift her body up onto the hood of the jeep while she threw the water bottle with all her might. It would explode on contact and she truly hoped the other man wasn’t hurt but she couldn’t risk trying to get him out of the way. He was on his own and she’d apologize later for any harm she did to him later.

The gun flew through the air without an explosion but she didn’t have time to watch where it landed. She was concentrating on the men in front of her, trying to keep track of their sudden movements. The blond had taken the opportunity of her intervening to kick out at the man, which is what had sent the gun flying. A swift punch laid the man out flat.

“Good job,” she whispered, impressed by how quickly he’d accomplished his own part. Water droplets were still flying through the air from the impact of the water bottle. Some had flown back at her from the impact against the man’s back and part of her was sad that she was still wearing her leather jacket. It would have been nice to feel those droplets on her bare skin than to watch them soak uselessly into the thick material.

“Not quite the surprise you were but still good enough, huh? Go get the gun, will you? I’m not sure he’s going to stay unconscious for long and I’d prefer he couldn’t arm himself again. I’ve had enough of violence for the evening.”

“Are you going to call the cops?” she asked as she scrambled for the small black gun over by the other gas tank. It seemed so small now that it wasn’t pointed at her. “I mean, he had some practice at all this. Odds are they’re looking for him.”

He took the bullets out and dropped them in his pocket, throwing the gun through the back window of his vehicle. Only after he looked at her with irritation did he pull out his phone. It was a new model, the kind that slid open to reveal a full keyboard. She’d never had a cell phone before, let alone such a nice bit of technology and found herself staring in fascination at the beauty of the small thing.

“I was kind of hoping just to leave him here to deal with his conscious when he woke up.”

“Really? He’s going to find another gun and then he’s going to be angry. What if he tries this again and doesn’t spend so much time talking next time? What if he shoots first? He needs to be stopped.”

“And you think the police are going to be able to change him for the good. They’re going to come get him and hold him for a day but he didn’t really do anything. Nothing that they can put him in jail for, at least. I think that would make him angrier than anything else, don’t you?”

Even though he said he wasn’t going to call the police, she saw him turn the phone on. After the initial tune that played as it turned on, the phone came alive with a series of beeps and song snippets that seemed to anger the man. “I was hoping not to have this turned on until I got further away,” he muttered as he pressed several buttons to get it all silenced. “They’ll know where I am now. If you hadn’t shown up-“

“What? You’re blaming me for this?”

He looked up as if he was surprised that she’d heard his quiet rumblings. “Yes. I am. He wanted to hurt you. If it had just been me, I could have talked him out of it without any of this violence. He didn’t want to hurt me. Not really.”

“But he wanted to hurt me?”

“You were an easy target. He thought he could get some money out of you, maybe scare you a bit so you’d have been impressed with him.”

She blinked, trying to figure out what he was talking about. He seemed pretty sure of himself. She’d just have to take his word for it. Now that the danger was passed, she went in search of the water bottle. If it was still in one piece, she could fill it back up and get the bike moving once again. The local police could deal with this felon however they wanted. She didn’t really care. Just as long as he didn’t try to hurt anyone else.

“Well, if you’ve got this under control, I’ll be on my way.” The bottle was intact although the cap no longer fit over the slightly widened opening. All the heat had warped the plastic but it looked like she would still be able to carry water in it if she was very careful.

Before he could answer she was back inside the store area. The man behind the counter was still engrossed in his book and hadn’t even noticed all the commotion outside. He would probably have enjoyed it if he’d taken a moment to look around. On her way back to the public restrooms, her eye was snagged by movement out the large front windows. The blond man was now standing all by himself, his back to the window so that she couldn’t read his expression. Whatever had happened, it had been fast. She sincerely hoped the dark-haired man wouldn’t decide on revenge as his next tactic. It would be better for everyone if he went home and didn’t think about what he’d done tonight.

The bottle had a leak in it when she tried to fill it up. After two tries, she threw it in the trash can with a fierce oath, irritated that the one true piece of equipment that she really needed had been ruined. She’d have to find something to take its place which meant a trip out to the dumpsters. They had been smelly from the distance she’d been at when she’d first arrived. No doubt they would be even worse up close.

In anticipation of the dirty work, she took off her jacket. It was the only piece of clothing she’d ever cherished. When she was younger, she’d hoped that someday she would grow into it but even now the cuffs slid past her fingertips so that she was constantly having to push them back out of the way. On her bike, she welcomed the coverage to keep out all the cool air that came rushing past her. She opened the restroom door and nearly fell back. The blond man was standing right outside, taking up any gaps she might have used to squeeze by.

“Excuse the intrusion but I thought you might need this.” He held out a water bottle, nearly identical to the one she’d had before.

“Thank you,” she stammered. “I didn’t realize… I mean… how did you know I needed it?”

He paused, his eyes flitting back and forth as if he was mentally searching for the correct words to use. “Yours… broke, didn’t it? When you threw it at that guy. You’ll need a new one. Just take it. My thanks for helping me out back there.”

She thought about refusing but that would have been stupid. This way she had water for now and a container for more water later. There wouldn’t need to be a stop at the dumpster and then agonizing minutes trying to sanitize whatever she found well enough that she felt comfortable putting water into it. It would be stupid to turn him down – but she felt herself doing just that.

“I’m sorry. I can’t take that from you.”

“I didn’t poison it. Look, the cap is still completely intact. There’s nothing wrong with it. Absolutely perfect.” He looked desperate to give it to her, going so far as to push it toward her. For a moment, she feared he was going to take one of her hands and wrap it around the bottle. Thankfully he pulled himself together and stepped back. “You need a water bottle. I’m just giving you what you need.”

His eyes unlocked from hers and instantly grew hot. For a moment it looked as if he was irritated with her lack of sleeves until she felt him looking at the tattoo. It was a silly whim she’d given into years ago with a pack of her friends. They’d all decided to get tattoos after a night of too much drinking and dancing. Hers was nothing fancy, just a band of black around her upper arm. It highlighted her birthmark, something she’d never been shy about. In her line of work it paid to be different and the chip of blue on her upper arm had definitely been something of a signature mark. With the black ink surrounding it, leaving an opening like a woven frame, the color was even more striking. In certain light it almost looked like a star that had imprinted on her skin.

“You show it off?” he asked, his voice suddenly gruff as if he hadn’t used his vocal chords in days instead of just seconds. The bottle fell from his hand, bouncing along on the tile floor with a clatter that set her nerves on edge. “Around here, we don’t flaunt it.”

“Good thing I’m not from around here then, huh?” It was a shock to have someone talking about her mark as if it was normal. She’d never met anyone with one like it. The chip of blue was her signature. Hers alone.

“Passing through?”

“Planning on it. If you’d let me leave, I’d get out of here sooner.”

He looked as if he wanted to say something but thought better of it. Instead, he stalked back out the way he’d come in. The beeping the door made when it was opened made her shiver with unexplained fear. Out here in the middle of nowhere, who would know about her? Be like her? She’d never met anyone with a talent like hers. That was the way she wanted to keep things. Hurrying to pick up the bottle laying alongside the wall, she decided it might be better if she got on her bike and took it as far away from here as she could. The bike would go for a few more miles before she needed to fill it up. If she needed to, she’d walk the rest of the way to keep from having to deal with that man’s prying eyes again.

It took her a moment to compose her thoughts before she felt safe enough to walk out into public once again. A few deep breaths and she felt a comfortable mask slide into place. This was nothing more than a performance like any other she was used to giving.

“Have a good day,” the clerk mumbled as he glanced up. She made no more impression on him than anyone else had today. If he did ever hear about what had happened here today, would he be disappointed that he’d missed out, she wondered. Maybe this sort of thing happened often enough that he was inured to it. She doubted it. This was the sort of place that nothing out of the ordinary happened.

But he had known her birthmark on sight. It hadn’t been just someone in awe of it like she’d had to deal with in the past. This was someone who understood it for what it was. She’d never thought she was flaunting it before but she did enjoy the glances she got. Should she hide it? It would probably make sense not to show it around too much when she got to the coast. If word of it got back to anyone at the showcase, someone might come looking for her. The freedom she craved wouldn’t be hers for very long if that was the case.

There was no one around when she walked outside. The jeep was gone and she could only assume that the other man had made a swift getaway before anything could be done about stopping him again. Quickly, before anything else could keep her here, she attempted to kick start the bike. The sounds the bike made in protest were like machinery gears that weren’t supposed to work together. Metal scratching on other metal without anything to lubricate it. She hopped off and opened the gas cap. Steam curled up and wafted into her face like a caress.

“Just a bit longer,” she promised as she uncapped the water bottle and poured most of the contents inside. More steam wafted out and she let it settle before screwing the cap back on tight. “Come on, baby. Just a little further down the road. You can have your rest then.”

This time the bike sounded better but the engine didn’t turn over. Because it was a few inches too tall for her, it was always a struggle to get it started. Her frustration and anxiety were only making it harder to give it a good kick.

An engine roared to life on the other side of the gas station. She jumped but went quickly back to what she was doing. The quicker she took care of this, the quicker she could get away from here. It couldn’t be the jeep. The growl of the engine wasn’t right. Another person had obviously decided to come get gas or cigarettes or something to drink. She tried not to think of any other alternative.

The light blinded her just as she pulled on the bulky helmet. It gave her eyes some relief but she could still see stars in front of her eyes as she looked away. In an instant she read the situation. This car… no… truck, the lights were up too high to be a car… was coming right at her. The lights were bright enough that she couldn’t see any details but she knew who it was. The dark-haired man had come back for his vengeance.

With just a split second to go, the engine of the motorcycle revved to life. She had a moment of euphoria that she might be able to get out of this before she realized just how close the truck was. The bursts of air from the engine as it worked to keep up with his demands were blowing toward her. At this distance she could easily make his radiator run dry but that wouldn’t stop what he intended to do. She was at the mercy of a madman with a vindetta.

Chapter 4: ALL I CAN GIVE

Den got a mile down the road before he had to stop. It took him nearly five more minutes to realize he was going to need to turn back around. No matter how he fought against it, he couldn’t get any further away from that damn gas station and that irritating girl who wouldn’t take his offer of a replacement water bottle. He wasn’t sure what the problem was now but he hadn’t fulfilled his obligation to her.

The jeep protested his abuse but moved forward as he stomped on the gas pedal. It was enough to wish that he’d just stayed home. He’d only meant to go on a simple trip to the Oregon coast and back without any trauma. Not only had he made Beau mad enough at him that she’d stopped texting him twenty minutes ago but he’d nearly gotten killed and had to depend on the very person he was set on protecting. It was embarrassing.

Her birthmark had made him pause. When he went into public, he kept his covered with a piece of flesh covered tape. Alma and Grace used makeup. Constantine had a band of black that he wore over it. Everyone else just wore long sleeves. Some of their visitors had left it out in the open but they were always people who were either very flamboyant so that it was part of their personality or very plain so that no one would bother noticing it. This girl hadn’t been either, although she had a presence about her that said she wasn’t afraid of people noticing her. Or she might not have been at one time. She’d been edgy but he’d just assumed it was because she’d nearly been shot. That hadn’t worried her like he’d thought it would. He was the one that had left her frowning.

And now he was going back for more. She was sure to hate him by the end of this horrible night.

As he got closer, Den almost turned around. There was no one there. He wasn’t going to chase her all over southern Idaho just so he could try to right whatever wrong had happened to her.

Before he could do anything to stop it, a large truck roared into life and made an odd detour around the building before heading off to the north. It was odd enough to pique Den’s curiosity. That had been the exact spot where the girl had parked her bike. Maybe it was enough in shadows now that he hadn’t noticed it before. No one else seemed to have noticed anything out of the ordinary.

A mangled wreck of the bike caught his attention as he drove up and parked with his lights still on the scene. He ran forward, still aware that he had to help the girl. That must mean she was somewhere around here, alive.

Parts of the motorcycle were strewn about the truck hadn’t dismantled it completely. He began to look further away, trying to figure out where she might have landed if the truck had flipped her off the bike. He was assuming she was here, that she had been on the back of the bike when it happened. For a sick moment he saw the jacket off to the side and ran for it. It was by itself, a lump of leather with only a few scuffs.

Movement off to his left made his head snap in that direction. She was leaning against the tall, wire fence that separated the gas station from an empty lot strewn with garbage and weeds. If she wasn’t trying to get up, he might have assumed it was a pile of rags left for the wind to discard.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly, hovering over her to assess the situation before trying to help in any way that might injure her. “Where did he hurt you?”

“I’m not sure. Give me a minute here.” The helmet muffled her voice but it had also probably kept her alive. He didn’t dare move it off her head until he was sure of the damage but he did lift up the darkened visor. She grimaced up at him.

“That wasn’t you who did this, was it? Trying to kill me so I’ll take your damn water?”

“Not me,” he whispered, glad she was feeling well enough to accuse him of murder. “Where were you when he ran into you? The bike looks like it took most of the damage.”

“My bike,” she moaned. “My poor bike. I promised it we were almost there and then this happens. It’s never going to forgive me. Thing’s been with me for ages.”

He watched her ramble on about her motorcycle as she propped herself up into a better sitting position. Her spine didn’t seem to be injured but she looked like she was going to be one big bruise come tomorrow. Very carefully, he helped her take off the helmet.

“I have a friend who’s a doctor in Boise. I can take you into town to have him check you over if-“

“No! No doctors!” She hissed as the explosion of sound ripped through her chest. “Okay, I’m not going to yell anymore. That hurt. But I’m not going to go see any doctors.”

He sank back onto his heels and pulled off his heavy workshirt and the long-sleeved t-shirt underneath. His own blue birthmark glittered in the bright light from the jeep as he showed it to her. “A friend. Someone who will know how to treat you.”

She was quiet, her dark eyes staring intently at his arm. After his confused thoughts over seeing her mark, he wondered what she must be thinking of his. As if she didn’t believe it was real, she lifted a hand and touched it very softly with the tip of her middle finger. Her skin was soft against his and he closed his eyes to keep from seeing how warm she looked this close. It was a stark reminder of his refusal to let anyone touch him. Contact only made his compulsion burn out of control. The more distance he kept from people, the easier it was to be around them.

He needed to help her. The thought burned in his mind, producing bile that sent his stomach roiling out of control. Maybe there really was nothing wrong with her that an aspirin and a good night’s rest wouldn’t help but he had to be sure.

“No,” she protested as he lifted her up in his arms. “I need to get my bike back together.”

“It’s in pieces. There’s nothing you can do about it tonight.”

“But I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

“No hospital. Just a doctor. He has a private practice on the outskirts of Boise proper.” He opened the door to the passenger side awkwardly as he tried to keep her from jumping out of his grip. As he sat her down on the front seat, he noticed the tears in her eyes. “I’ll make you a deal. If you don’t want to be there, I’ll take you away and you’ll never have to see a doctor. I’ll take you somewhere that can fix your bike and you can ride off into the sunset. It’ll just be the sunset tomorrow. For the rest of today, you’re in no position to be going anywhere.”

She winced, making his words true.

“Where?” he demanded, his hands immediately pulling back so he wasn’t touching her any more.

Her lips were white with pain, and a bit of irritation if he understood her after the way she’d dealt with him so far, but she still smiled ruefully as she pointed down. “I think my leg is messed up.”

“Anything that can wait or do you want me to check it out?”

“No, I don’t think I’m bleeding out. Probably a bone out of place.” They both paled at that thought. “Just get my bike in the back and take me to this doc you think can keep my secrets.”

She pointed out the parts of the bike that he missed on the first sweep of the parking lot. After twenty minutes, he finally returned to the driver’s side of the jeep. “If I haven’t gotten it all, I’ll come back. No, on second thought, I’ll just buy you new parts. Most of these loose parts don’t look like they’re usable. Maybe they never were.”

“Hey, don’t cut down my baby like that. She wasn’t pretty but she was a classic. Got me wherever I wanted to go.”

They bickered most of the way back to the highway. Even though they were still a good ways from Boise itself, civilization crept up on them quickly. There were minor pulls on him but nothing Den couldn’t ignore now that he had this larger obligation to take care of. Keep her safe. Get her well. Try not to panic when she rode away from him toward the destination she’d originally had in mind.

“Where were you headed?” she asked casually as they sat at a right light. He was trying to unclench his hands from the steering wheel but found that they were holding too tightly to the wheel to do it comfortably. “Before you found yourself on this diverting trip, that is.”

“The Oregon coast. There’s a place I like to go when I start to feel closed in by the mountains. It doesn’t happen often but I like to be prepared and get there before it gets to hard to handle. What about you?”

“Same place. Well, same ocean. I didn’t have an exact place I wanted to end up. Just wanted to be near the ocean again.”

He nodded, aware that she’d said quite a bit with that statement but he couldn’t figure out what exactly she was sharing between the lines. Something she knew he wouldn’t understand. He could tell that much.

His phone beeped and he finally found the only distraction that could get his concentration away from the traffic. “My sister,” he growled as the girl lifted her eyebrows in surprise at the intrusion. “She doesn’t like to be separated from any of us and hates it when we turn off our phones. We’re kind of close-knit.”

“Kind of close-knit? That borders on psychotic.”

He laughed. “I guess it does. You’d have to meet Beau to understand.”

“How many brothers and sisters do you have?”

The question made him pause from pulling open the phone. He’d almost retorted, “You should know” without really thinking. She didn’t seem to understand the situation like he would have thought someone with the Birthright would. There were a few rogues throughout the world but most everyone else stayed in packs or families or covens or tribes or whatever they chose to call it.

“How many do you have?” he asked hesitantly, wondering about her home situation. Maybe she came from such a small, secluded family that she didn’t think of other families being large groups.

“I’m an orphan. My parents died when I was small.”

“You had parents?”

She glanced over at him, the streetlights playing out in a kaleidoscope of colors on her face. “Didn’t you? I thought everyone did.”

Her tone told him she thought she’d made a joke. “Do you remember yours?” His voice was quiet but he knew she heard his serious tone. With the slightest of movements, she turned away from him. Their easy camaraderie of the past hour was gone.

“Of course I don’t. I was too young when they died to remember more than a few fuzzy memories of them. They were young and had just moved to a new town. The wires must have been faulty because the whole house burned down before anyone could save them.”

“What about you? Weren’t you there?”

“Of course I was. Well, not in the house. Rod…Someone found me wandering a mile away. The authorities think I had gotten out well before the fire started. There wasn’t a mark on me.”

Her story didn’t sound any more strange than some of the others he’d heard before. The difference was that she hadn’t been told the truth yet. That those people weren’t her parents, just some poor couple caught up in a situation they had no way of understanding. He wondered how she’d take it after so many years of thinking what she had missed out by not having parents.

“We all make our own kind of family,” he murmured, hoping she never learned the truth but knowing she had to now. He owed her that, too. Owed her the truth of who she was. What she was.

Chapter 5: THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

She wasn’t impressed with Boise and the surrounding towns that seemed to make it feel so much larger than she knew it really was. The air was dirty when she’d assumed it would have been as fresh as the air anywhere else in the state. When she’d asked about it, the blond man explained about air currents and inversions and things that she had only nodded her understanding because he’d seemed so impressed with his knowledge. She’d never paid much attention to the weather other than to look out her window to figure out what outfit to wear. There was the occasional hurricane to make things interesting but she didn’t mind those. The people around her were always scared of the power they had to destroy but she liked that aspect of them and had never one run from one even when others around her and fled the state for safer ground.

After talking their way through a variety of subjects, including things she hadn’t thought she’d ever tell another person ever again, she wondered what this man must fear. Not much, from what she’d seen about him so far. It wasn’t exactly a conversation topic she wanted to bring up and she didn’t figure he’d actually answer her honestly.

As she watched him flip open his phone and read the message, she wondered at his family. He had a sister, that much she knew. Part of her wished she’d diverted his questions about her family so she could have learned more about his. Were they all blond like him, she wondered. Did they all have eyes the color of violets, the purple tinted with just enough blue so it could be called violet? She’d tried very hard not to stare at him but had found herself slipping from time to time.

When he didn’t offer any explanation at what the message said that he’d been sent, she shifted once again to face him. The movement sent shards of pain lancing through her right leg but she liked that better than the numb feeling she felt over her torso. She hadn’t bothered to tell him about that when he’d asked about her wounds. There was nothing he could do about it, after all. The doctor he was taking her to would have to deal with those other things she could feel nagging at her as they drove steadily forward.

“What did Beau have to say? Is she angry with you? You don’t look happy.”

He still didn’t answer, only held the phone in his left hand while he drove with his right. He was thoughtful, not angry or upset. His feelings were a complete mystery to here when she thought she should understand him by now.

“I’m just trying to figure out how to word this note back to her.”

“Why do you just text back and forth? Can’t you just call her? I’ve never understood how people can be so patient with those teeny, tiny keyboards. They seem like a lot of trouble to me.”

“Better than a normal phone keypad. Those are a pain. We were all glad when these types of phones came out. What kind of phone do you have?”

Another conversation topic she didn’t want to get into. He seemed to have a knack for uncovering everything she wanted to keep hidden. “I don’t have one.”

She waited for the harassment about being the only person left in the United States that didn’t have a cell phone. Or maybe he’d try to sympathize even though he was holding some of the latest technology in his hand. Instead, he stayed quiet and just grinned. That was the nicest thing he could have done, she decided. His face was peaceful when he smiled. She wondered how often he did it since he seemed like a tense sort of person.

“You can laugh, you know. I wouldn’t mind. Everyone else always does. I’ve never had need of one. There’s no one I ever need to call.”

“No friends? No boss to say you aren’t coming in to work when you’re sick?”

“Nope. No one.” She didn’t want to tell him she lived in the same place she worked. It sounded like she worked at a brothel or something. Her friends were all there, too. It was one big happy family. The only one she had, even if it wasn’t really a family. No one cared about each other like a family would. Her absence would only be lamented because it left a very significant hole in the show.

“That’s kind of sad.”

He was still smiling and she couldn’t help but smile back. This time, she didn’t mind his sympathy. “Yeah, it is, isn’t it. But it’s also very freeing. I don’t have a tether to anyone or anything. I’d hate to see what happened to you if you left your phone somewhere or lost it. From the sounds of it, your family would freak out. I’ll never have to deal with that kind of grief.”

“You have me there. Sometimes it would be nice to be free of that kind of thing. I did leave my phone at home one day and had deal with a bunch of pretty upset people when I got back. But it’s also nice to be in contact with people if I’m in trouble.”

“What? Are you implying something?” she asked, laughter filling her voice as she tried to look severe. “Would you preferred that I had called for help instead of helping you myself this afternoon? I suppose that guy behind the counter could have come out. See, I don’t need a phone. Just a loud voice. I win that one. Try something harder.”

“Have you never been in trouble where you would have liked someone to come bale you out?”

She did try to think of a time that would have been nice but she couldn’t think of anything off the top of her head. “I don’t think like you do. Since you have a phone, you automatically depend on it. I’ve never had one so I still concentrate on helping myself until I’m forced to go looking for someone else.”

“I still say that’s a really lonely way to live.”

“Well, it’s my way of living.”

The conversation once again stalled but only because he was concentrating on turning corners, one right after another. They were close to the doctor’s office now and she could feel the tension creeping up over her again. At least it wasn’t like the pain. She could stand the waiting and wondering what was going to happen next.

She waited until the jeep stopped before she asked, her voice small and tentative, “Are we there?”

He nodded, not looking over at her but staring straight out of the windshield into the darkness of the ordinary looking street, and didn’t move until she started to open the door again. “Let me give him a head’s up. I don’t want to explain face to face.”

“Letting the phone act as your security blanket again? I’m not scared of him.” She moved toward the door again but stopped as he laid a hand on her arm. “What?”

“He keeps odd hours. If we’re waking him up, I want to give him a chance to wake up completely.”

“One of those people who don’t like mornings.”

It was several minutes of uneasy silence before he punched something into his phone and held it up to his ear. “Greg? It’s Den. I’m sitting outside your house.” She could hear the man on the other side of the conversation, his voice strident and irritated. “This isn’t a social call and I have your money. I’m bringing you a patient. Will that get me through the door?”

He listened some more before holding the phone out to her. “He wants to verify my story.”

“Hello?”

“Are you a friend of Den’s?” The voice was gruff and she found herself shrinking away from it.

“No, I’ve never met him before today.”

“And something bad happened to you.” It wasn’t a question but she answered it with a quiet “yes” anyway. “What happened to you?”

“A truck tried to run me over. My motorcycle took most of the slack and I was thrown clear.”

“What hurts?”

She swallowed, taking stock quickly once again to make sure that everything still hurt the way that it had. “I think something’s broken in my leg. It hurts like fire whenever it moves. And something in my chest doesn’t feel right.”

“Does it hurt?”

She glanced over at Den. How odd to finally know his name after an evening spent in such close quarters. His gaze was still riveted straight in front of him. “No,” she whispered. “It doesn’t hurt at all. It’s sort of… numb.”

“Shock. Give the phone back to Den.”

She automatically did what he wanted. This man wasn’t like any doctor she’d ever known before. He took the term foul-tempered to a whole new level. Den seemed to agree with her and immediately started yelling into the phone. “I brought her here so you could help her. Not make her cry. If I’d wanted that, I would have just kept driving and let the injury… what? She hasn’t complained about… yes, we’re coming in. What? Fine.”

He turned the phone off and put it back into his pocket. “He wants me to find out your name. But,” he shook his head before she could immediately answer him, “I need to give you the guidelines. From this moment on, your name is completely your own. It means something. If you want to keep the name you were given when you were little, by someone else, go ahead. But that is never your real name. Do you understand?”

As odd as this conversation was, she did understand. Her name was always a nom de plume, a stage name. A thing to hide behind along with the mask she put over her features.

“Yes, I think I do. Only I can give myself my real name.”

“It’s inside you even now. Always has been. Some people are able to use it from an early age but most of us don’t come to it for years.”

There was a name burning inside her as soon as she thought about it. It was so obvious that she was surprised she had never thought about it before. The name sounded good as it reverberated around her head. Her heart sparked as it realized it was her real name. What a way to start her real life!

“My name is Aria.” She heard it with her ears and marveled at how right it sounded. “Yes. Aria.”